Day 26 – Namanga to Nairobi (Kenya) (198 km)

24.01.2012

Jules writes:

After a bit of a later start (we decided to have a bit of a sleep in, as it is only about 200 km to Nairobi) and another great breakfast, we were on our way through Kenya. The roads continue to impress, and it soon became evident that we were in a comparatively wealthier country, with signs of construction and more substantial housing in the towns. At one point, we saw a big crowd coming down the road towards us, with motorbikes, placards, and more importantly, men with big sticks. We pulled over to the side of the rode to let them pass, and saw enough smiles to ask them what was going on. The only response we received was “no problem, no problem”. Hmmm…

As we pulled into the south of Nairobi, the traffic started, and required some deft weaving to be able to stay together. We pulled into a petrol station to regroup and get a SIM card in order to get in contact with Billy, an American missionary, who, together with his wife and another couple from the US, had recently arrived in Nairobi to begin work here. We got some great directions, and organized SIM cards, and after quite a lengthily stop, we headed out into the city.

Nairobi traffic is notorious throughout Africa, and while it did not fail to overwhelm, it wasn’t quite in the way I had expected. Traffic in Dar-es-Salaam was a wild free-for-all, with every man for himself. Here, there was just enough order to make it really painful. The roads were thick with cars and trucks, but the police directing traffic through the circles just somehow managed to keep everything stationary. Our passage was not helped by the masses of roadworks everywhere, and the GPS seemed to be a bit stumped a couple of times. At one point we even found ourselves driving the wrong way down a three-lane highway. There were some choice words being muttered in the safety of the helmets while this was happening. Eventually, in the midst of massive construction of a series of off-ramps, both Shan’s and my bike decided to die again, for no apparent reason. With traffic streaming past us, we hurriedly inspected them, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. After about 10 minutes, the engines reluctantly started again, so we suspect the bikes may have just overheated. After a series of animated, but almost unintelligible, and mostly just WRONG directions from some locals, we found our way to the road we were looking for to take us North towards Kiambu, where Billy and Darleen live on a coffee plantation.

Now if you will forgive me a moment to ruminate: most people give horrible directions. For example, one of the people we asked told us “just turn left at the next turn, it’ll take you to the top of an overpass.” When we did take the next left, it took us to an underpass instead, resulting in much confusion. For your convenience, I have included a brief list of things to do that will turn the most inept pedestrian into a world-class navigatorial assistant.

1.    Always include landmarks along with your directions. Rather than say “take the third right”, try ”turn right just after the big bill board next to the police station” or something like that.

2.    Advise people what they will see if they have gone too far, e.g. “If you see a large nuclear testing sign with a three eyed rabbit grazing on the barbed wire beneath it, you have gone too far”

3.     Let people know what they should see if they are on the correct route e.g. “If you see a large tree with a skeleton hanging in a gibbet, you are on the right track. Also, don’t stop at that tree”

Following these simple steps will ensure people will always be able to follow your directions and arrive at their destination with a minimum for limb-loss.

We quickly left the bustle of the city behind, but in a bid to make sure that the action never stopped, Shan’s bike died again along the road. A further ten minutes wait saw it starting again for no obvious reason, and we rode on.

Billy’s directions were fantastic, and we soon arrived at the gates of a massive coffee plantation. When we arrived at their house, we were blown away, it looks like a movie-set that has just been abandoned. The house if huge, with stone walls, thick wooded doors, well swept, shaded courtyards, and a huge garden, complete with a sparkling swimming pool. ON top of that, we each have our own room, a luxury that we have not enjoyed since we were in South Africa. The two couples that stay there, Billy and Darleen, and Jerrod and Amanda, were warm and welcoming and after we had settled into our rooms and enjoyed a dip in the pool, we enjoyed a wonderful home-cooked meal, and chatted until the yawns became difficult to conceal. I suspect it might take a crowbar to make us leave this place in a few days.